- Melissa D'Antoni

Greetings 

Last week I found myself bulldozing through some uncomfortable emotions that made me literally crawl in my skin.  Nothing I could do could distract me me enough from feeling their intensity and the messages that were communicating.  You know the slippery ones that percolate grief and anger and challenge all your beliefs about yourself...perhaps of others and cause extreme discomfort and pain. It was so gut-wrenchingly painful I did not want to be in my body. For a few days I felt a huge hole in my heart and traveled through a darkness I that while in it felt like I had never known before.  I was able to witness myself squirm around, wanting to intellectualize (which is where I go when emotion feels to overwhelming) make a story of it...analysis paralysis and even turned to all my trusted tools and practices for self care.

Nothing was working. The grief grew in size like a dark black hole that seemed to swallow my insides and want to spit me out into a world I unwillingly was destined to go.  That is what it feel like to be taken by the wave of deep despair and what I realized is that no story, no spiritualist mantra, nothing I knew could keep me from feeling this pain.  The only way out is through.  Funny that the week before a client sent me a new acronym for fear that she heard:

F E A R... Feel Emotions And Rise!

I had to be still.