The first time I walked into an intuitive painting class I had no idea what to expect, but I had a deep inner knowing that I needed to stay and see things through despite the anxiety and discomfort I was experiencing as I faced the unknown. The class description had mentioned something about this being a safe place to explore our creativity in a nonverbal space, free of any judgment. I didn't know what type of art class this was, what technique we would be learning, or even what kind of materials we would be using... I just knew I needed a safe place to go where I could be free to express my feelings without the need to articulate them - I needed to paint.
At the time, my life was less than satisfying despite all of my accomplishments. I despised my j-o-b, my friendships and personal relationships were waning, my family relationships were tumultuous, I hadn't been in a real relationship with a man for far too long, and I felt disconnected from everyone and everything... I was full on in the throes of depression.
So, facing that first blank piece of paper with paint tray and brush in hand... where to begin? Needing to somehow ground myself, I decided to paint the light catchers that hang from the window in the yoga studio where I occasionally practiced. Their simple reflection of light often brought me great peace and serenity as I observed them.
When I got to the point I felt complete with the painting, I checked in with Melissa and after a series of questions and inquiry, I carried on with the painting. It wasn't long before the ho-hum feeling of peace and serenity were replaced with a wild burst of energy and motion. Dark blue and red paint were quickly leaving their mark all over my lovely light catchers. My inner critic was one loud nonstop chatterbox that left me feeling angry, sad and powerless, yet... connected to life. I felt ALIVE!
One of the things I love about intuitive painting is the fact that it doesn't matter what the painting looks like, what matters is the experience of the journey. The insights and wisdom that are to come from the process are for the individual artist to cultivate and receive.
Though the intuitive painting class is not designed to teach someone the technique and theories of art, I found the process to offer so much more through the creative process itself.
Being in a supportive community, within a sacred container that frees one to explore all aspects of creativity and sense of Self... to find their unique expression through vibrant colors of paint, paper, play and exploration... that is the true gift.
Oh, and while the focus is on the process rather than the product, I felt called to frame that first painting to serve as a reminder of where I once was before I started this transformational journey...
